Two years ago, I was carted unceremoniously off of the Ultraman Canada Day Two course to the hospital. I didn't really say anything at the time about what exactly happened. It took almost a year before I finally opened up publicly about exactly what happened during Ultraman Canada.
I wish the story ended there. Cliche, but we had just fallen down the rabbit hole.
I know I have been vague on Facebook. I really wasn't sure how to say what I needed to say. So, I'm just going to say it.
INFERTILITY.
There. It's out there now. Wow. Not so bad. Now where do I go from here? <-- (This was literally what I typed when I sat down to write this.)
I'm sharing this with you because when this thing first began, I felt so alone. I'd never heard of anyone in their 20's going through infertility. Come to find out, there really aren't a lot of resources or face to face support groups available. I found one through a church, but as a non-religious person I wasn't comfortable. There are also message boards, but I quickly discovered that the lack of intimacy just was not for me.
What I did find out was this:
1 out of every 8 couples experience infertility. (Source: 2006-2010 National Survey of Family Growth, CDC) Whether that's simply taking a bit longer to get pregnant than they would like, all the way up to IVF. This also includes couples that have experienced miscarriages. 1 in 8 of your friends have walked down a similar path. For something that affects 1 in 8 couples, why isn't there more by way of support? Why don't we hear about this?
It seemed like we were simply supposed to keep this to ourselves. Very few people talk about struggling with infertility. Most of what I do hear comes AFTER their beautiful children are born, and it's typically just a passing mention of the secret hell they emerge from.
The last year had been far more difficult for me than I could have ever imagined. And again, up until now I have stayed silent, as so many women and couples do. But I believe that that is partly why this journey has been so God awful. People simply do NOT talk about this.
If you know me, you know I'm not a silent person. Far from it. So, I'm going to talk about our infertility journey.
I want to emphasize that this is OUR journey; both Chad and me. Chad has been gracious enough to let me choose when and how to share this with you (and up until now, not share).
My hope is that this series of posts will reach and may bring comfort to someone who is going through infertility, either themselves or someone they know. And I of course write this for myself. As hard as it is, putting my thoughts and feelings down will help me figure this out for myself.
Since so much has happened to get to where we are today, I want to spend a bit of time playing catch up. After that. I'll be posting updates as they happen.
